Maintaing a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship with your partner can be extremely difficult for women with endometriosis and other painful conditions. Because sex can be painful, women may be reluctant to initiate intimacy, while their partners are also reluctant, since they do not want to cause her pain. This can lead to feelings of neglect and/or resentment. Dealing with these delicate issues together and finding other ways to be close are key in supporting a healthy and loving sexual relationship.
Things That May Help Alleviate Pain with Sex
– pelvic relaxation exercises: relaxing the muscles of your pelvic floor like you do when urinating – basically the opposite of Kegels
– using vaginal dialators
– pelvic phyisiotherapy
– manually stimulating yourself often
– using a water-based lubricant
– using a numbing agent meant for the genitals
Finding Other Ways to Be Intimate
If intercourse is painful, there are many other ways you and your partner can be intimate together, such as:
– oral stimulation
– holding hands
– skin on skin contact, touching each other
– sensual massage
– bathing or showering together
– breathing or meditating together
– saying kind, romantic or sexy things to each other
– have “outercourse”: outercourse is any form of sensual and sexual activity that does not involve the exchange of body fluids
Most importantly, make sure that you go slowly and make sure both people are comfortable. Although l it may sound like a major mood-killer, it’s a good idea to talk about about what you want to do or a comfortable with so there’s no confusion and everyone is on the same page.
Partners: pay attention to your woman’s advances and be cognizant that turning her down, even if you’re looking out for her or not wanting to hurt her, can be taken as a harsh rejection. If she is making advances, she has likely already decided that she is mentally prepared and willing to deal with any pain or discomfort. So trust her, go slow, and enjoy yourselves!
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